According to American psychologist Thomas Lynch, while keeping our emotions under control is often considered a positive quality, it can be detrimental to our mental health. The research he conducted shows that people tend to go to two extremes: either they control their feelings too much or they have no control over them at all. Both can depend on our genes, upbringing, life experiences, and how we typically deal with challenges.
We already know that poor emotional control can create problems in relationships, work and health. On the other hand, those who constantly strive to control everything may have difficulty adapting to new circumstances, learning and accepting criticism. Such people often envy those who live more freely and have fun with others. Additionally, being overly controlling may cause them to hide their true feelings, which can lead to loneliness and mental health problems.
Unfortunately, while there are many ways to help those who have little control over their feelings, there are not many support options for those who do it too hard. Assessing and treating these behaviors requires extensive testing and professional diagnosis, which can complicate access to care and slow progress in research.
Lynch advises people who have difficulty sharing their feelings not to try to cope alone, but to seek professional help.